I’m Fine and Other Half-Truths of Where I am Now

One day during a miserable time in my life, I was wandering around a neighborhood store when I saw a small, gray stone with the word Truth painted on it. I picked it up. The oval fit perfectly in my palm, and something shifted in me. I realized I’d been lying to myself, lying to those closest to me, just to get through each day.

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Success through Kindness in the New Year

The cult of the ‘New Year, New You’ is hard to shake, but frankly, facing 50 is daunting. I'm not sure what being 50 is supposed to feel like, to look like. Where am I supposed to be after five decades of life?

I'm not sure, but I do know that I'm proud of making it through 2020, changed but still standing, mostly. So as I leap into 2021, I’m working less on fixing myself and more on loving myself.

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A New Resolve

Last year I wrote about seasons of resolutions, which is my approach to adopting new habits a few months at a time in the New Year. Each quarter is an opportunity to grow and learn, and this process keeps me motivated throughout the year. I usually approach it with a spirit of renewal and change, with clarity and resolve.

This year, resolve has new meaning.

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Weeding the Garden

That’s the thing about hate.

It starts off innocently enough, the tiniest sapling. You think you can ignore it, so you do. It doesn’t seem so dangerous, really. Maybe it’s not your problem. Someone else will take care of it. Then suddenly, there’s no light. And there’s no sign of what grew there before. The roots now run deep. It will take some sweat to claim back our garden.

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Doomscroll Alternatives to Improve Your Terrible Life

Doomscrolling is SOOO July. Do you remember July? China started sending us random seeds, Ghislaine Maxwell was finally arrested (we do not wish her the best), and Trump wore a mask in public for the first time, and it wasn't even Halloween. So. Brave.

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A Menu for Change

I noticed that even though my cookbook shelf was full, it was dominated by white authors and western-European cuisine. As someone who embraces new food, new experiences, I was embarrassed by the glaring omissions of the culinary foundations of American cooking on the shelf. Time for more change. 

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The Power of Yes

A few months BC (Before COVID), I read Year of Yes, by Shauna Rhimes. The premise is deceptively simple: Despite incredible professional success, the Queen of Shaunda Land felt lonely and unfulfilled. On a dare from her sister, Shaunda spent a year saying “Yes” to everything – speaking engagements, parties, working out, salads, events – and she found her new life surprisingly rewarding and exciting in ways she hadn’t imagined it could be.

I was inspired and energized as she told her story, but as I considered my own life, I felt like I was very, very far away from So Much Yes.

I said no. A lot.

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The Bird Who Lived

I Googled what to do when a bird hits your window. Make it comfortable, the Audubon site says, leave it alone if it doesn’t seem injured. If it does seem injured, contact animal control. There is no information about what to do if a bird hits your window during a global pandemic.

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Boys’ Rules for Life

I started writing this essay with the intention of providing advice for my sons as they grew into men. Some tips were specific (Change your socks every day); some general (Learn to be OK with failure), and some were based on my own life experience (Don't get married until you're 30). But as I observed my sons with a journalistic eye, I realized how much they can teach us all.

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A Nice Love Story

When I did the post-first-date phone debrief with my sister, I confessed: He might be too nice for me. I am not that nice, what if I am terrible and break the heart of this nice man?

She admonished: You will go on at least three dates, and you will have fun. You deserve someone who is nice, who is nice to you.

So I did, and I did, and he was, and he is.

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