Welcome to the New Year! Time to get off the couch and back to the real world where you are expected to wear pants and function in society once again.

The post-break weeks are always a shock to the system, and we exacerbate it with the tradition of Making Resolutions. These impossible goals stress our already fragile, will-power atrophied souls and often lead to failure at some level. Besides, I refuse to buy into the whole #newyearnewyou mentality.

Don’t get me wrong, I can’t find fault with the usual list: Getting back on the treadmill, clearing the house of candy (I’m looking at you, holiday M&Ms), turning off the screens and getting to bed earlier are all worthwhile goals. In the dark days of January, a little detox from a few minor sins are a positive way to start the year. But why not harness this annual enthusiasm for change for more than a month or two of good intentions?

This year I’m setting goals through seasonal themes to keep me motivated beyond the New Year’s burst of enthusiasm. This structure offers a chance to check in throughout the year, rather than going out in a blaze of glory when Oreo launches a new flavor in January. (Side note: Chocolate marshmallow? That hardly seems fair.)

Winter Goals: Take Care, Take TIme
This is an area that’s easy for me to overlook because I seem to come in last in the hierarchy of needs. I resolve to make those overdue doctor appointments, take time for daily meditation, and use all those facial masks I’ve been hoarding. I’m putting exercise goals in this area, too, and in 2020 I’m turning to the power of community to help me stay on track. I already committed to a Saturday morning running group, and I signed up for a half-marathon in May. Anybody up for a regular yoga class? Here we go!

Spring Goals: Get Out, Reach Out
When the snow melts and the sun shines again (it will, right?), it's time to get out there. I resolve to reconnect with people one-to-one. I made a list of people to see IRL this year, and if not in person, then at least via phone or a handwritten note. My son and I have bird watching events on the calendar, an activity we’ve talked about for a long time. We have a spring break trip planned to visit my sister and her family in Colorado, and I'm so excited for time with them. This is the season of get up and go.

Summer Goals: Do Less, Do More
School will be out, so the pressure will be on to find things to do with the kids. Camps and sports are calling, but I’m resolving that this summer to spend more time together as a family. We’ll kick off the season with a week with cousins at the beach, a magical time with my mom and siblings. Back at home, I want to use our bucket list to explore Chicago in different ways. Now that my kids are older, we can expand our radius and see the city with new eyes. There are new donuts spots to find, and we’re the ones to do it. Summer is less than 100 days long, I don’t want to miss a second, even if that means more time making S’mores and camping in the backyard.

Fall Goals: Be Thankful, Be Forgiving
There are many challenges in this season, from gifts to events to generally creating holiday magic, even if I’m not feeling it. I resolve to forgive myself and cultivate a spirit of gratitude in all I do: Maybe not all the decorations went up? The house will still look great. Maybe the dinners were not as elaborate as I planned? It will still be delicious, and the people around the table are the most important part. I hope to celebrate successes, let negativity go, and hold those closest to me as tight as they’ll allow me to.

Mine might not be the traditional approach to resolutions, but I believe this gentle approach will help me reach my goals. Give the January resolutions a rest and pace yourself. You have a whole year of living to do. Resolve to be happy while you’re doing it.

This essay originally appeared in the January 2020 issue of Fete Lifestyle Magazine.