When I saw that FLM’s theme this month was Men, I’ll admit my first reaction wasn’t excitement. It was more like a long exhale.

Right now, the word “men” feels heavy. Turn on the news, scroll any feed, and it’s hard not to feel like the species is having a bit of a moment.

Not in the flattering sense.

The headlines aren’t exactly building confidence in the future.

But then again, I live in a house full of boys, and that changes the question entirely.

The world is full of bad examples and Men Behaving Badly in every sense of the word. But luckily, and in stark contrast, their lives are also filled with men we are proud to know.

For every insecure, orange-tinted man whose only feeble-minded defense is name-calling female reporters, I hope my kids see how their incredible teachers model patience and grace and show up with empathy and enthusiasm every day. How they build up their students and demonstrate respectful dialogue between classmates, helping make our school a safe place for everyone, no matter which boxes they check on census data sheets.

For every chest-pumping, GI Joe wannabe spouting garbage on social media, I hope they see how their coaches lead with quiet strength and courage, demonstrating calm resolve and giving positive feedback to help them get better, praising publicly and correcting privately as good leaders do. How teams are stronger when communication is clear and constructive, and how lifting up their teammates makes the whole league better.

For every horrifying story of despicable acts captured in thousands of sloppily redacted files, I hope they see how the adult men in our family care for and respect the women they love: their mothers, aunts, sisters, wives, nieces, and daughters. How it’s important to stand up for those who need it most, and to use their power to support those who stand up for themselves.

I hope that as they go through their lives, they find friends and partners who help them continue to grow, who challenge them, make them think, and push them toward new ways of being, because lifelong learning is not just a good catchphrase for a university; it’s what keeps us engaged with the world. I hope they find jobs that allow them to thrive while keeping in mind that they are not whatever title appears on their email signature, but rather that their lives revolve around the joy they find in what work enables them to do, not what they acquire. That they find good mentors and mentor those who come after them.

I hope they go out and see the world, appreciate the culture wherever they go, and return home safely, a little bit changed from every new experience. I hope they have discussions with people whose ideas they disagree with and still remain friends. I hope they read things they don’t like, eat things they don’t like, and listen to music that’s not for them because creative friction helps them find the things that are more to their tastes.

But most of all, I hope they grow into men who remember that the world is bigger than themselves.

Men who listen more than they shout, who learn more than they assume, and who understand that strength is measured not in power, but in kindness.

Because the headlines may be full of men behaving badly.

But in our house, we’re raising boys who can do better.